“Advent, advent, a candle burns….”

It was time to celebrate Advent again. The children came. Three candles were lit. A meal was shared. Bread was broken. Another puppet show was presented and received:

Darlene opened the door to the quiet, dark room where a central candle awaited the children’s candle lighting ceremony. Shhh… Can you hear the angels singing? Such sweet voices. They know all the songs.

One little two year old was determined to do it himself!

I love traditions! This is one I’d like to continue year after year. The little ones love it. And it puts the reason for the season squarely front and center where it belongs.

Back to Egoscue

I saw a 1950s black and white promotional ad for See’s Candies on TV the other night. The women who were playing the See’s Candies customers, dressed in early 50s style clothing, were standing up so erectly that it almost looked unnatural. They all had impeccable posture. I was shocked! I actually remember people standing like that back then! I’ve gotten so used to slouchiness over the years, that seeing people bent forward, with huge neck juts, looks normal. But, I have to admit that it looks UNATTRACTIVE!
Well, Pete Egoscue (pronounced Ee-GAW-scue) would have something to say about this. He says that poor posture causes pain, pain, and more PAIN. All over the body. Due to recurring hip and neck pain lately, I’ve gone back to my Egoscue exercises. I’ve been at it for a couple of weeks now, and I’m already noticing a difference. Here is a picture of me today:

Notice that my right shoulder is slightly lower than my left shoulder, making my right arm appear a bit longer. My right hip is slightly elevated. My head is slightly tipped to the left. These are the things I’m working on from the front view. I’m assuming that my head tilt is due to compensating for the lowered right shoulder. The shoulder/hip misalignment is definitely part of the cause of the neck pain. I must say, though, that a year ago when I was doing these exercises in earnest, my misalignment was much more noticeable. My feet are pointing more or less straight ahead now, and that is an improvement. My right foot used to splay outward somewhat, which was tweeking my hip and giving me serious groin pain. The pain is much less now. I believe I’m making progress!

Here is my current profile:

This, again, is much improved from before. I used to lean forward quite a bit more than this so my center of gravity was over my toes, believe it or not. I think it was partly because I had such a dramatic neck jut that the weight of my head (about 10 pounds) was pulling me forward. I still need to move my head back more. This will help eliminate the leaning and also decrease the sway back. It takes a lot of muscles, constantly contracting, to counterbalance a head that feels like it’s falling to the ground! And that equals PAIN.

So this is my update. I expect that in six months my posture should be nearly perfect. It takes a while to undo 40 years of bad posture. But, pain is the great motivator!

Looking for Coyotes

I just never get tired of the adorable things that children do and say!

We were having a mom’s meeting yesterday at the park, discussing the wonderful book SIMPLICITY PARENTING, and while we talked, a scuffle broke out among the children. Katie’s kids, Kay (4) and Denny (2), were playing with Kianna (3), and little Denny, feeling tired and cranky, just didn’t want to share his ball. Katie, who was becoming weary of arbitrating, suddenly pointed to a nearby hill and exclaimed excitedly, “Oh, I just saw a coyote!! Look!!” The children instantly dropped their squabble and scurried over to the chain link fence at the edge of the park, peering through intently. They were so cute standing there in a row for maybe five minutes patiently scanning the creosote-and-Joshua-tree-covered hillside. Since there actually was no coyote that we were aware of, it wasn’t long before the kids trudged back to tell us that they couldn’t see one. Denny (who is two, remember) said, “I not see a coyote, EVER!” His face was so downcast that we suggested they all look again. “Coyotes like to hide behind things, so look carefully through all the creosote bushes and behind the Joshua trees too”, Katie directed. So, off they went for another try. After a while, Kianna called out to us announcing that she thought she saw a coyote’s nose. Shortly after that, Denny trotted back to report that he didn’t see a coyote’s nose. But, he DID see a coyote’s pants. When questioned what the pants looked like, he thought a moment and said, “Overalls.”
Gotta love kids.

Who is This Handsome Guy?

Why it’s “Surfer Gabe”, all ready for the cold water, the crashing waves, and hopefully some awesome rides. He’s definitely hooked on surfing every chance he gets. Between Bikram yoga and surfing daily, he is staying in tip-top shape. Doing extreme sports makes Gabe happy.

Speaking of Names…

So, what will I want MY name to be once I’m a grandma?
I’ve put a LOT of thought into this. At first, I thought I’d want to be called “Nana”. I’d always liked that name. But, then I got to thinking about how much I loved it that my friend Kristina’s little boy called his grandma “Honey”. I got a warm feeling in my heart whenever I heard him saying “my Honey” this and “my Honey” that. Then, my good friend, Jill, became “Grandma Honey” after another “Honey” she knew and admired. I googled it and found that, sure enough, Honey is one of the more common grandma names. I decided that I wanted to join the “Honey club”, as my friend puts it, and I would be called “Nana Honey”. She heartily welcomed me into the club when I announced my intentions to her. I feel like I’m settling nicely into my new name. I loved being called “Mom” and “Mama”, and I’ve missed that. Now, I’m mostly called just Darlene. I’ll be happy to be hearing myself called by a more affectionate and informal name again. Most of my friends call my dad “Grandpa Bob” instead of Bob, because that is how we introduce him. They seem to get a kick out of calling him that, and I think he enjoys it too.
You may now call me “Nana Honey” if you like. Or if that seems too premature, you can wait until June. But, I will be referring to myself as “Nana Honey” from now on.

Speaking of Names…

So, what will I want MY name to be once I’m a grandma?
I’ve put a LOT of thought into this. At first, I thought I’d want to be called “Nana”. I’d always liked that name. But, then I got to thinking about how much I loved it that my friend Kristina’s little boy called his grandma “Honey”. I got a warm feeling in my heart whenever I heard him saying “my Honey” this and “my Honey” that. Then, my good friend, Jill, became “Grandma Honey” after another “Honey” she knew and admired. I googled it and found that, sure enough, Honey is one of the more common grandma names. I decided that I wanted to join the “Honey club”, as my friend puts it, and I would be called “Nana Honey”. She heartily welcomed me into the club when I announced my intentions to her. I feel like I’m settling nicely into my new name. I loved being called “Mom” and “Mama”, and I’ve missed that. Now, I’m mostly called just Darlene. I’ll be happy to be hearing myself called by a more affectionate and informal name again. Most of my friends call my dad “Grandpa Bob” instead of Bob, because that is how we introduce him. They seem to get a kick out of calling him that, and I think he enjoys it too.
You may now call me “Nana Honey” if you like. Or if that seems too premature, you can wait until June. But, I will be referring to myself as “Nana Honey” from now on.

Lovable Nicknames

So, we named our children what we considered to be strong, serious names, and then what did we do? We gave them whimsical, silly nicknames. Almost immediately. And those names stuck!
Nathen was “Nathie”. Then when Ely was old enough to talk, he called him “Cee cee”, which we then called him for a long time.
Ely was “E”. Sometimes Steve called him “Fly”. Or “Ely in the sky” for his daring feats on bikes and skateboards.
Damian was “Damie doo”. Then “Doo”. Then “Dooley”. (Steve still calls him Dooley.)
Gabe was “Gabie”. Then “Gabie Goo”, after Damie doo. Then “Goo” or “The Gooze”.
Ben was “Benamin”. And finally “Bun”.

The thing about our nicknames is that they showed familiarity and affection. It indicated to us, and hopefully to them, how much they were loved when they were little. As they got older and it seemed too undignified to call them by nicknames, we gradually shifted over to their given names. But, when I think of my kids’ nicknames today, I still get a warm feeling and I smile. They continue to evoke affection and pleasant memories.

Lovable Nicknames

So, we named our children what we considered to be strong, serious names, and then what did we do? We gave them whimsical, silly nicknames. Almost immediately. And those names stuck!
Nathen was “Nathie”. Then when Ely was old enough to talk, he called him “Cee cee”, which we then called him for a long time.
Ely was “E”. Sometimes Steve called him “Fly”. Or “Ely in the sky” for his daring feats on bikes and skateboards.
Damian was “Damie doo”. Then “Doo”. Then “Dooley”. (Steve still calls him Dooley.)
Gabe was “Gabie”. Then “Gabie Goo”, after Damie doo. Then “Goo” or “The Gooze”.
Ben was “Benamin”. And finally “Bun”.

The thing about our nicknames is that they showed familiarity and affection. It indicated to us, and hopefully to them, how much they were loved when they were little. As they got older and it seemed too undignified to call them by nicknames, we gradually shifted over to their given names. But, when I think of my kids’ nicknames today, I still get a warm feeling and I smile. They continue to evoke affection and pleasant memories.

Naming Babies

As a child, I loved making up names. I loved naming my dolls, my pets, and particularly my imaginary horses. I went through a number of names for myself, as well. At four, my name was “Cookie”. My best friend and I renamed ourselves and were careful to call each other by our new names. Hers was “Lighty” (???) and even though I remember thinking it was a dumb name, I called her that anyway. Later, I went through other names. For years, I was Pamela… and then Denise. My next-door neighbor was named Melanie. I loved that name too and would have named myself that, but figured it would be too confusing. Melanie and I had a “little girl love affair” going on for years. She had named herself Penny, and we carried on a passionate relationship through letters that were passed back and forth weekly. We addressed each other as Penny and Denise and professed our undying love for each other with melodramatic statements, lots of hearts, and oh yes, perfume on the envelopes. It was all very romantic. Somehow, using made-up names added to the pleasure of it all.
Fast-forward to my adult years, and I was surprised at how hard it was to name my own kids. Gone was the romance of thinking up names. I felt weighted down with the responsibility of naming someone else, for REAL! And I didn’t even know that person yet. How could I possibly name a person I had not even met? What if they didn’t like their name? Steve was no help because he enjoyed coming up with names he thought were humorous. This made me feel all the more responsible for picking a name that told our child that we took him seriously and thought he was smart, capable, wonderful, and lovable. We ended up deciding to leave their middle names up to them, just in case they didn’t like our choice of first names. Damian is the only one to-date who has not settled on a middle name, though when he was three, he was pretty set on the name “Roderbush”. Don’t ask me why! It was a tremendous family joke. In retrospect, I am very happy with the names we came up with for our five sons, and I think they like them too. I WAS sorry I never got to name a girl, as I had several favorites. But, that was not to be.
As Damian and Maya are approaching the naming of their child, I find myself noticably relieved that it’s not me doing the choosing. It’s now their turn to have that responsibility, and I think they are having a good time with it. I just get to sit back and see what they come up with. Even though I have preferences, of course, I will learn to love any name they come up with. And that’s because it will be attached to a little person who I am madly in love with, and their name will just be a magic symbol that becomes attached to that love.

Naming Babies

As a child, I loved making up names. I loved naming my dolls, my pets, and particularly my imaginary horses. I went through a number of names for myself, as well. At four, my name was “Cookie”. My best friend and I renamed ourselves and were careful to call each other by our new names. Hers was “Lighty” (???) and even though I remember thinking it was a dumb name, I called her that anyway. Later, I went through other names. For years, I was Pamela… and then Denise. My next-door neighbor was named Melanie. I loved that name too and would have named myself that, but figured it would be too confusing. Melanie and I had a “little girl love affair” going on for years. She had named herself Penny, and we carried on a passionate relationship through letters that were passed back and forth weekly. We addressed each other as Penny and Denise and professed our undying love for each other with melodramatic statements, lots of hearts, and oh yes, perfume on the envelopes. It was all very romantic. Somehow, using made-up names added to the pleasure of it all.
Fast-forward to my adult years, and I was surprised at how hard it was to name my own kids. Gone was the romance of thinking up names. I felt weighted down with the responsibility of naming someone else, for REAL! And I didn’t even know that person yet. How could I possibly name a person I had not even met? What if they didn’t like their name? Steve was no help because he enjoyed coming up with names he thought were humorous. This made me feel all the more responsible for picking a name that told our child that we took him seriously and thought he was smart, capable, wonderful, and lovable. We ended up deciding to leave their middle names up to them, just in case they didn’t like our choice of first names. Damian is the only one to-date who has not settled on a middle name, though when he was three, he was pretty set on the name “Roderbush”. Don’t ask me why! It was a tremendous family joke. In retrospect, I am very happy with the names we came up with for our five sons, and I think they like them too. I WAS sorry I never got to name a girl, as I had several favorites. But, that was not to be.
As Damian and Maya are approaching the naming of their child, I find myself noticably relieved that it’s not me doing the choosing. It’s now their turn to have that responsibility, and I think they are having a good time with it. I just get to sit back and see what they come up with. Even though I have preferences, of course, I will learn to love any name they come up with. And that’s because it will be attached to a little person who I am madly in love with, and their name will just be a magic symbol that becomes attached to that love.